|To whom it may concern:
Please accept my resume and consider me for your head coaching position.
I am ready to continue kicking ass on and off the court (including
my player's asses). Remind the Athletic Director I am the man in charge
and let the secretary know she will speak when spoken to and not engage
me in any unnecessary conversation.
Robert Montgomery Knight
Home Phone: (812) BIG-PIMP
To bring unheralded attention to a college basketball program using
4th winningest college basketball coach of all-time
3 National Championships
|Head Basketball Coach, University Indiana
Used basketball court to instill fear and manhood into young men
||Head Basketball Coach, Army
Developed hazing techniques to scare the crap out of recruits
||B.S. History, Ohio State University
President, Committee to Ban Rock 'n' Roll
Anger Management Counselor
||Went 0-for-1 with one personal foul in win over Cal
in NCAA title game
||Charged in absentia for hitting Puerto Rican policeman
during Pan American Games and sentenced to six months in jail. Puerto
Rican government dropped efforts to extradite me.
||Fired a blank shot from a starter's pistol at reporter
Russ Brown "to keep from going nuts."
||Shoved fan into garbage can at Final Four.
||Called Michigan coach Bill Frieder a "chicken shit
son of a bitch" twice on the court during a game and once in the post-game
||Tossed chair across court during game and almost wounded
fans in the wheelchair section.
||Took the ball and team and traveled home, midway through
a game with the Soviet Union, because I didn't like the officiating.
||Told Connie Chung, "If rape is inevitable, relax and
||Barred female reporter from locker room, and eventually
Whipped Calbert Cheaney with a towel during practice at the West Regional.
||Kicked my son Patrick during a game vs. Notre Dame.
||Ejected after three technical fouls on Senior Night
(remarkable considering it only takes two T's for an ejection).
||Accidentally shot hunting partner in back. Sited for
failure to report incident.
Shouted "Who's your daddy now?" to Northwestern U. student section
after defeating them 69-62 in OT.
||Video revealed me choking former guard Neil Reed during
the 1997 season.
Grabbed student by the arm and cursed at him for not addressing me
in the proper way … "Coach Knight."
Fired because Indiana University didn't see things the way I saw them.
Screaming, Yelling, Kicking, Choking, Chair Throwing, Berating the
Irrespective Punks, Low-lives, Gangstas, Democrats, Reporters, Sissies,
Myles Brand, Wussies, Butch Carter, Candy-asses, Luke Recker, et al.
Oprah, Bible Study, BDSM