Eighteen-year-old kid, head shaved,
both ears pierced, both nostrils pierced, both eyebrows
pierced, tattoos coming out of the arms. He's got baggy
pants that start at the knees, and twenty-seven inches
of underwear. What's that about? That's one of the basic
rules we know about--the underwear goes inside the pants!
That's why it's called Under-fucking-wear.
-Denis Leary
Surf's
Up! - Every Monday
Osama
Fashion Alert!
A
recent conspiracy theory suggested that the array
of outfits worn by Osama bin Laden on television
are actually covert signals to his followers, much
like a first base coach would give to his base runners.
Comedy Ave. recently uncovered a top secret portfolio
of a proposed new fashion line, Osama, along
with the encrypted messages that accompanied the
photos.
All photos published without Osama's written
permission.
Walk tall and carry a
big stick…to make up for
all our small penises.
Tony Hawke is "sick!"
To heighten sensation, always cross-dress when
the enemy is bombarding you.
I prefer Masengil Douche.
A full-body wax-a-day, keeps the profilers away.
Lift weights.
Music is beauty to thine ears…especially when
our beloved sheep cry out for us. N'Sync rules!
Do
your job right and Allah will
come to you in many sexy disguises.
The sheep will forgive you.
Adding insult to injury, arm yourself with many
beautiful virgins whenever possible. Bathe!
Employ sly camouflage wherever you roam.
Oxy 10 is great for the complexion.
We may bend, but the only thing we'll break…is
a lot of wind. Toilet paper works!
