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Enduring Freedom Batman
and Robin make sure their Mickey Mouse watches are synchronized, as they await
the moment when Americans actually decide to fly again and jeopardize being shot
down by our own forces. (No word on whether or not parachutes will be issued for
all passengers.) Of course they also await the launch of Operation Enduring
Freedom. Up until now, the Dynamic Duo have been surprisingly patient, proceeding
with caution until their team of Bat Friends are in place and ready to infiltrate
Afghanistan and "smoke out" the terrorists led by O-Sodomize bin Laden.
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First to go into the fray, will be the Special Forces Unit out of New Jersey,
the Soprano Crime Family, led my Tony Soprano himself. The "waste management
business" includes going in to clear a direct path to Bin Laden by doing
anything in their means, which includes breaking legs, crushing heads, whacking
Taliban soldiers, or just supplying refugees with enough crack cocaine so that
they won't go hungry. (Note: The fourth season of the Sopranos is subject
to casting changes depending on availabilities of the actors.) |
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the second wave, the Pentagon has decided to send in number one Survivor,
and rogue homosexual, Richard Hatch, who promises that he will challenge Bin Laden
to a Nude Sumo Wrestling competition, commit domestic assault, and bitch-slap
Bin Laden back to the Dark Ages. |
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to clean Afghanistan up once and for all, President Bush will send in one of his
father's favorite entertainers, Miss Out on a Limb herself, Shirley MacClaine,
who will astral project into the country, melt all the remaining weapons
with her heart and all our foe's anger with her love. |
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complete Operation Enduring Freedom, the President will assure all of Cindy
Crawford's fans that she and her family are absolutely safe, and then appoint
Barbra and Melanie to lead us all in a rousing rendition of "We Are the World,"
at which time the entire planet will return to peace and harmony for all eternity,
and be free to open up a Starbuck's on any Afghanistan corner. |
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