They danced the night away...
They drove away realizing they were on their way to becoming just another f*cked-up Hollywood couple.
BRITNEYVILLE - With album sales plummeting, Britney realized she may have to sell her hair to an aquarium some day.
Speaking of sell outs...
"Who f*cking cares, mate, it's not like we're trying to cure f*cking cancer. Oops, can I have a take-back, lovey-dovey?"
LAND OF FREE - Because of a shortage of American women who actually don't sit around whining about men all day, the United States decided to enact a law to make it easier for mail order brides to reach our shores. After terrorists, they will be the first allowed in.
- Liza and "straight" hubby David Gest just inked a deal to
do their own reality show on VH1 and we can only say: "Sorry Barbra,"
while we sing: "Send in the Queers..."
LAS VEGAS - Reports say a bad heart and too much cocaine in the membrane combined to kill the Who's John Entwistle... Wait! Rock n' roll=drugs?!? No way!
- Surgeons have managed to stitch back a 7-year-old Moroccan boy's penis
after it was bitten off by a donkey; they would not comment on how the
donkey managed to do the damage. If we had to guess we would say: Yes
they do have MTV in Morocco and the kid was definitely under the influence
of some Jackass or another.
France - Speaking of freaky animals, more than 400 sheep leaped to their
deaths this weekend in a mountainous southeastern region of France.
Authorities say it was likely a panicked attempt to escape from a pack
of wolves, but we present you with conflicting evidence -
AMMAN - Jordan's state Petra news agency reported that a groom spent his wedding night in jail after he accidentally shot dead two guests while firing his automatic rifle to celebrate his marriage. Accomplice-er-ah-best man Charlton Heston could not be reached for comment.
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