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Comic Sundial says
Our super sleuths have done it once again. Through their tireless efforts, and their exorbitant Caramel Machiatto and smokes budget, they recently discovered that Los Angeles Laker coach Phil Jackson subscribes to two magazines: Daily Vegetarian and Vanity Fair. It was in the latter that the Coach read an article on the (former) King of Pop, documenting some truly bizarre behavior -- friggin' witch doctors??????? Nevertheless, being the eccentric peace-pipe-smoking freak he is, the Coach was intrigued, as were we after intercepting the letter below. Hey, Big Chief Lucky, I got your Pony Express right here.

Comedy Ave. PRESENTS:

From One Jackson to Another

" Shaq, I'm touching my LEFT ear, that means it's Kobe's turn to shoot!"

SGT. SHAQUILLE O'NEIL'S:
PLAYOFF RULES OF ENGAGEMENT


Rule No. 1:
Any team with two or more convicted felons, who own copies of the movie Half-Baked, shall not be allowed to flap their gums until they are back in their own yard, fresh from getting more than their cells swept. At which time, probation officer may beg the warden for another inmate to "improve" the asylum -- or at the very least, reinstatement of the prisoner's Oz privileges.

Rule No. 2 (Also referred to as the Shanghai Shaft):
In order to head off World War III, any foreign player who is over 7'4'' and misses the playoffs WILL be entitled to ONE free frappuccino while he crouches (real low, so as not to disturb Purple and Gold Royalty) courtside to watch the Big Ambassador in combat action.

Rule No. 3:
Any team of "Queens" which enlists either Ralph Nader or Johnnie Cochran to do their whining, before the playoffs, shall be deemed unqualified to compete with the real kings and ordered back to their cow-town for a good ringing of their own bells. (Not the Anita Ward disco version.)


"I would be so honored to have Mr. Jackson ring my bell any time! And can you ask Kobe if he'd like to come along? Oh yeah: Gooooo Lakers!
Peace-out, kiddies."

Michael Jackson 's
Sunday Sports Viewing:
(in order of preference)

1.
Boys Gone Wild vs. Me (hehe)
2. Anyone vs. Dr. Phil (lol)
3. Oprah vs. Latifah
4. Tito vs. Jermaine
5.
Lakers vs. Wolves
6.
USA vs. Syria (yuck)
© 2003 Comedy Avenue Productions. All rights reserved. Steal our stuff and make money off it, you die a fiery death -- no 72 virgins either.